In 2023, I was laid off for the first time in my career.

Like a lot of other scary but entirely plausible things, I’d written it off as something that “would never happen to me.” I’m not sure why I felt immune to something that was becoming so common — but I did.

At the time, I was working (mostly remote) for a startup. We’d spent about a year and a half building an app from the ground up. The team was scrappy, smart, and hardworking. For a group of strangers, we’d become friends as we navigated the chaos of an early-stage start up together.

When I saw a meeting pop up on my calendar first thing in the morning, I wasn’t exactly expecting to be laid off. Looking back, maybe there were signs. But in the moment, I didn’t see them.

Here are the two things I remember about the actual meeting:

• the delivery of the message, and

• the overwhelming desire to get off the call.

The delivery was quick and honest, and I could tell that it wasn’t a decision they made lightly.

The overwhelming desire to get off the call came next. Not because anything was said poorly, but because I was immediately in processing mode and needed the space to do that.

It’s one of those rare moments in life where things are starkly black and white. One minute, you have responsibilities, a to-do list, structure. The next, you simply don’t.

I had the urge to spend an hour or two “tying up loose ends” — probably my brain’s attempt to create some semblance of transition.

Instead, I sat on the couch and thought about the immediate next steps. Eventually, I walked upstairs, shared the news with my husband, and then promptly went out for brunch.

That day was a whirlwind — but what came after taught me more than I expected about myself, resilience, and navigating change.

It wasn’t easy, but these are the things that helped me through it.

Take some time away.

To process. To let the dust settle. To figure out what you actually want next.

In most parts of life, change doesn’t hit overnight — but a layoff does. It’s so easy to rush to try and fix things but I highly recommend taking a minute to pause.

Take a few days to let the moment land. Get clear on what matters to you now — both in the short term and a little further down the road.

Even a few quiet days can give you the space to move forward with intention.

Make time for what makes you happy.

It’s easy to get swept up in the job search — and even easier to burn out.

Carve out time each day for something just for you, something that has nothing to do with résumés, interviews, or LinkedIn.

At first, I found it hard to pull away from the constant screen refresh, thinking I might miss something “important”. But the truth is, you’re not losing out because you didn’t apply the second a job was posted.

We’ve all had those “if I only had more time” ideas. Now you do. What are they, and how can you start weaving them into your routine?

Expect the ups and downs.

Some days are good, some days just aren’t. There’s no way of avoiding this and it’s really normal.

Landing a new role might be the ultimate goal, but don’t skip over the smaller wins along the way. An updated résumé, a solid networking convo, a job post that actually excites you — those count, too.

The trick is dealing with the bad days. Let them happen. I’m a big believer in feeling what you feel. I found that when I let myself be frustrated or defeated those emotions didn’t linger as long — and they hit softer the next time around.

The ups and the downs are all part of it. To the best of your ability, let the hard days pass, and celebrate the progress you make along the way.

Create a new routine.

You’ve had structure for 40+ hours a week. And now, that time is wide open. That can feel freeing… or overwhelming depending on your personality.

Part of my process was creating a new rhythm that worked for me.

For the first week or so, I let myself do whatever I wanted — no alarms, no rules. After that, I eased back into structure. I went back to consistent sleep and wake times. I time-boxed job searching and professional development. I moved my body more. I tackled projects I’d put off for months because I had “no time”.

Most importantly, I reminded myself this in-between time wouldn’t last forever — and that it was okay to enjoy it. Read the book. Walk to the coffee shop. You get the point.

Stay (or get) connected to your people.

I process things best out loud. Talking, and writing, help me make sense of what’s happening. I value feedback and other people’s opinions. So that’s what I did.

I leaned on my family, friends and former colleagues. I reconnected with people I hadn’t caught up with in a while — some because life got busy, others because distance and COVID got in the way.

I leaned on them to keep me grounded, to help me stay motivated, and to remind me I wasn’t going through it alone.

It may feel like this phase will last forever.
I promise you, it doesn’t.